Occasional Therapy FOR THE URBAN WOMAN
By Dr. Ellyn Gamberg
As an urban woman, I don't have to tell you about the stresses particular to the city, where just trying to catch a cab in rush hour can be an event. However, when a real event comes along - changing jobs, your first child going off to kindergarten, breaking up with your boyfriend - you probably feel like pulling your hair out. So, what to do? Schedule a few visits with your therapist?
Yeah, right. If you're like most urban women, you barely have time to get to the gym a few times a week, or see your friends as often as you'd like. If this describes you, or you've been leery of trying therapy in the past, short-term therapy may be for you.
I developed Occasional Therapy to help women get through the events of our lives. Built on adjustment therapy - an established branch of psychotherapy that helps patients get through a brief transition in their lives Occasional Therapy seeks to empower clients while generating a few simple solutions. If you're one of the 40 percent of people who have consulted a therapist and then never returned - or consider your "chocolate therapy" (or "spa" or "book therapy") a legitimate gameplan for dealing with your problems, you probably can see the value here.
In developing Occasional Therapy, I selected highlights from a wide variety of therapeutic techniques. Occasional Therapy gets to the root of why you are stressed and provides techniques and insights in managing your stress: help, for when you need it.
For example, try this easy-to-use way to replace problem thoughts and maladaptive behaviors with more constructive ways of thinking and acting (we therapists call this "behavior modification").
1 If you are consistently acting or feeling stressed, start paying attention to your behavior. Try "logging" your stressed out behavior by identifying antecedents (those events that occur right before you have that stress "freak out".) If you're lashing out at coworkers, back up and take a look at what happened directly before this: for example, was it because you got a favorite dress back from the dry cleaner completely ruined on your lunch hour?
2 After a week, look at your list of "antecedents" above, and see if there are any obvious patterns. Most likely, you will recognize that some underlying issue is the root cause here. Although it's stressful, the dry cleaner ruining your dress is probably not the real issue: perhaps you are worried about losing your job, and any negative issue that even comes up will set you off.
3 Address the root cause, NOT the actual event. Allow yourself the luxury of forgetting about the dry cleaner for a moment and concentrate on your job. Are you really at risk of losing it? If you really are in trouble, what are some positive steps you can take to fix this?
As I mentioned, Occasional Therapy can be used for any "event" in your life that may be causing you some stress or anxiety. A wedding, a funeral, a job promotion, a new baby... there will always be something to stress over, but with help you can learn ways to relax and rise to the occasion.
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