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Occasional Therapy: The Wedding offers techniques exercises and skills to help a bride, groom, parents or siblings and friends work together while a wedding is planned and a lifetime together is launched. more |
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TRY THIS: DEALING WITH CONFLICT - The Art of Argument
The wedding is a good opportunity to test your communication and resolution skills by listening, asking clarifying questions, speaking clearly and non-defensively, and then working toward negotiating a "creative alternative" or compromise solution.
DO
- Identify difficult issues
- Start with the easy issues
- Restate opposing positions for clarity
- Find areas of agreement
- Prioritize the issues for both sides
- Validate feelings (always validate and acknowledge the other's feelings –
- hey are just as valuable as yours)
- Use encouragement
- Think before you speak
- Be specific in stating what you believe the problem is
- Ask for feedback on the major points of disagreement
- Confine your remarks and comments to only one point at a time
- come with a list if you have to)
- Consider a compromise
DON'T
- Threaten
- Sabotage
- Bully
- Issue ultimatums
- Complain and whine (it is so easy to slip into that childhood voice)
- Assume that you know why the other person is responding the way they are
(you are not a mind-reader)
- Correct how someone else feels
- Label or name-call
- Talk about the past; the problem exists now: deal with it in the present.
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